When you are tired, a promise that one trick will make your baby sleep can sound very appealing. Young babies need frequent care and feeding, and settling often takes time. You can respond to your baby and make sleep safer without getting every nap or night into a fixed routine.
Start with realistic expectations
In the first months, feeding during the day and night is expected. Babies vary in how long they sleep and how much help they need to settle. Sleeping through the night is not a milestone every baby reaches at the same age.
Follow your baby’s feeding cues and any plan from your maternity or child health team. Do not delay feeds to make a sleep schedule work. If your baby was born early, is jaundiced or has feeding or growth concerns, ask whether you need to wake them for feeds.
Try a small, gentle settling sequence
- Check for hunger, a wet or dirty nappy, uncomfortable clothing or signs of illness.
- Notice tired cues such as yawning, looking away or becoming fussy. You do not need a minute-by-minute timetable.
- Lower the stimulation. A quieter voice, dim light and a familiar short song may help.
- Hold your baby securely, sway gently or offer a cuddle. You can also stay beside their cot and reassure them with your voice.
- When they are ready for sleep, put them on their back in their safe sleep space. If they become upset, respond and comfort them again.
You do not have to withhold touch to teach a young baby to sleep. Some babies settle in arms; others sometimes settle in the cot. What helps today may not help tomorrow. If you want to change a settling pattern as your baby grows, your child and family health nurse can help you choose an approach suited to their age and your family.
Keep every sleep space safe
Place your baby on their back for every sleep, day and night, on a firm, flat, level mattress in a safe cot or bassinet. Keep their head and face uncovered and the space clear of pillows, toys, bumpers, loose bedding, nests and positioners. Their own safe sleep space in your room is recommended for at least the first 6 months.
A correctly fitted, non-weighted sleeping bag with arms free and no hood can avoid loose bedding. Keep your baby comfortably dressed without overheating, and keep smoke away. Breastfeed if possible; every baby still needs the other safe sleep precautions, however they are fed.
If you wrap your baby, ask a midwife or nurse to show you how to do it safely. Stop wrapping as soon as they show signs of trying to roll, or by 3 months, whichever comes first. Do not use weighted wraps, blankets or sleeping bags.
A product cannot make an unsafe position safe
Bouncers, rockers and swings are not sleep spaces. If your baby falls asleep in one, move them to their safe cot or bassinet as soon as possible. Car seats are for travel, not a substitute bed at home. Do not raise the cot mattress or use a wedge to help with sleep or reflux.
Do not give sedating antihistamines to a baby or use medicines, melatonin or herbal remedies as a sleep shortcut. Discuss persistent sleep difficulties with a clinician rather than trying a product marketed to make babies drowsy.
Plan for your own tiredness
Before a night feed, make it easy to return your baby to their own sleep space. Falling asleep with a baby on your chest, on a sofa or in an armchair is unsafe. If you think you might drift off, put your baby down safely or ask an alert adult to take over. Speak with your nurse about fatigue and accidental bed-sharing risks.
Arrange help in concrete ways: someone can bring food, do a household task or take a turn settling after a feed. You deserve support before exhaustion becomes a crisis.
Never shake, hit or roughly handle a baby. If you feel close to losing control, place your baby on their back in an empty, safe cot and step into another room briefly to calm yourself. Stay nearby, check on them and call a trusted adult to help. A short safety pause is better than holding your baby while you feel unable to stay gentle.
If you are afraid you might hurt your baby, get help immediately; call 000 if anyone is in immediate danger. If a baby has been shaken, call 000 even if they seem all right. Tell the health team what happened so they can help.
When sleepiness or unsettled behaviour needs medical help
Call 000 if your baby is struggling to breathe, has blue or grey lips, is unresponsive or very difficult to wake, collapses or has a seizure.
A temperature of 38°C or above in a baby under 3 months needs urgent medical assessment. Take a newborn with fever to a hospital emergency department; for an older baby under 3 months, go to emergency if you cannot get prompt medical care. Do not wait to see whether fever medicine helps. A baby can be seriously unwell without a fever.
Seek urgent care for green vomit, markedly reduced feeding, unusual floppiness or sleepiness, or much fewer wet nappies than usual. A sudden, persistent or very different cry also needs prompt assessment, especially if your baby seems in pain or unwell.
For ongoing settling problems, snoring or noisy breathing, feeding difficulties or poor growth, arrange a review with your GP or child and family health nurse. Take a short note of feeds, sleep and what concerns you; you do not need to produce a perfect sleep diary.
Sources and further reading
- Better Health Channel: it is not OK to shake babies
- Raising Children Network: your newborn’s first weeks
- Raising Children Network: responsive settling at 0–6 months
- Red Nose: six safe sleep recommendations
- Red Nose: co-sleeping and accidental sleep risks
- Red Nose: when to stop wrapping
- Red Nose: weighted baby sleeping products warning
- ACCC Product Safety: bouncers, rockers and swings
- Red Nose: safe sleeping visual guide
- Therapeutic Goods Administration: sedating antihistamines and children
- Raising Children Network: sleep medicines
- Raising Children Network: crying babies
- Royal Children’s Hospital: fever in children
- Royal Children’s Hospital: recognising an unwell newborn or young infant